"They are all agents like you?” One of James Bond's girls asked. "Like me, but not me. There's only one me," he replied in a firm voice. Looking like Bond. James Bond. Maybe the dream of many men. But what would it really be like? You look like…, you remind me of…
Reward or curse? Hard to say. Of course, it depends on who others compare us to. And what they actually evaluate. Appearance? Character? If the personality is generally well received, presenting a good and attractive image, it can flatter us. Maybe we feel important, beautiful and successful for a while. It can caress our own narcissistic perceptions.
3 steps to a healthy self-confidence:
- Let's know ourselves
- Let us accept who we are
- Let's be happy with everything that belongs to us
When does it work?
During puberty, we probably dreamt of getting closer to our favourite idol, whose poster we had on the wall. And the attributes of the idol's image and his views were very important to us. There are several applications on the Internet where you can insert your photo and it is included in place of the singer of a popular clip. So, you can have your own 5 minutes of fame in their body.
In adulthood, the same comparison may not do as much for us anymore. That is, if someone does not see us as a socially unacceptable personality, sees us as someone they do not like, or who conjures up bad memories. We don't want to remind others of a former classmate who was a bully to him or an infamous dictator. If a left-leaning gentleman looks like Václav Havel, repeated comparisons can certainly be a curse to him.
So why do people compare us?
Maybe because it's easier for them to get to know us through someone they already know. We are thus perceived not only by appearance, but also by the qualities and personality of the already-known. And with that comes expectations. It is clear that when we are like someone, we are like them. From a psychological point of view, we do this only because we have compared the similarity of several subjects. We used stereotypical perceptions, perhaps to be carried away by the first impression and the mistaken expectation that the more attractive a person is, the better their personality.
Is it fair?
No way! Each of us is original. And yes, there are about seven billion of us on the planet, and there are probably doubles of celebrities and maybe even of us. But does that mean a perfect copy?
Just because we're physically similar doesn't mean we're the same.
The fact that we have identical gestures and speech may not be reflected in our physical appearance. The fact that someone compares a woman to a singer, for example, says nothing about her. It can surprise her, it can amuse her, it can flatter her for a second. But she has to see the differences. The person making the comparison doesn’t even know the famous person and probably won't ever meet them.
Why be like someone else when I can be myself?
So, does it matter who we look like? Not at all! It depends on who we are and how well we know ourselves. Then the worst comparison will not surprise nor hurt us. Flattering someone you truly know can't work for long. If we want to look like someone, let's choose only a small part.
If we style ourselves on someone else, we will suppress the most interesting thing that is in us. And that is ourselves.